


Smoke and Mirrors

by PetitAvocat



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anal Sex, Bathroom Sex, Dirty Talk, Dom!Kaidan, Established Relationship, M/M, Mild Angst, Mirrors, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 20:29:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetitAvocat/pseuds/PetitAvocat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard is self-conscious about his appearance.  Kaidan helps, with a mirror and some dirty talk.</p><p>Now illustrated by the amazing <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/MalikRuttingAssassinAss">MalikRuttingAssassinAss</a> !!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smoke and Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

> originally written for a prompt at the k-meme (this has been very mildly edited from the original):
> 
> http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/5736.html?thread=25008232#t25008232
> 
> bear with me, i'm slowly migrating the fills i've posted from there to here while i deal with writer's block for my longer story and naughty distractions from other prompts :P

Shepard has been self-conscious about his appearance since Cerberus took it into their hands to play God. He knows that to any casual passer-by, and even to most of his friends, he looks exactly the same; Miranda and the Illusive Man took great pains to ensure this. But he will never forget the shock and disgust when he first caught sight of his reflection: in a window on Freedom’s Progress, he saw something glowing red, and prepared to fire, thinking there was an enemy within the prefab. In reality, it was only the cybernetic scars littering his face. He managed to make up an excuse so that Miranda and Jacob did not know the extent of his horror, but he still avoids looking at himself most days.

He had draped a towel over the bathroom mirror in the SR-2 when he was first aboard. Even after the scars had faded and his eyes had returned to their natural blue, he did not want to see the lack of the scars he’d received on Torfan, or the way his jaw seemed just a little more square and his ears stuck out just a little less. He hasn’t asked anyone else if they see the same things. He is afraid to know.

When Kaidan turned away from him on Horizon, he could not help but think that the biotic had noticed these changes. Despite never consummating their flirtation on the SR-1, they had spent many hours in the mess, and eventually in Shepard’s cabin, heads bent close over some vid or other, discussing missions, comparing biotic mnemonics. Just as he has memorized Kaidan’s features, has been tracing them in his mind every night since he awoke, he suspected, hoped, that Kaidan had remembered him as clearly.

Now, after too many close calls and terrified nights, fearing for the life of the only man he has loved and then staring him down over the barrel of a gun, Kaidan is with him again. He seemed to have read Shepard’s mind, both men knowing that hesitation is a luxury they cannot afford in these times. Shepard cannot remember the last time he was as happy, or his heart as light, as in the moment when he realized that Kaidan wanted, maybe has always wanted, the same thing.

Kaidan noticed the towel over the bathroom mirror as soon as he took up residence in Shepard’s quarters, Shepard is sure of it. How could he miss it? And Shepard suspects that he removes the towel whenever he uses the head alone, but it is always back in place when Shepard enters, no questions asked. It is a silent acknowledgement of one of Shepard’s weaknesses, one of the myriad tiny crutches he needs to get through each day, and he hates it and is ashamed.

He is sprawled on his couch working, barefoot and wearing only black sweatpants. It is late, and Kaidan is showering before they go to bed. Shepard takes a simple domestic joy in the daily routines they have fallen into.

Kaidan calls him from the bathroom, his voice dark and husky, belying his ulterior motives. Shepard smiles to himself. It is still early in their relationship, but he feels like this unquenchable flame of lust for Kaidan will be there always. He sets the datapad aside – he has read the same few sentences about ten times now, anyway – and moves toward the bathroom and his lover.

In the initial heat of kissing, pressing against each other, hands roaming, he does not notice the towel’s absence over the mirror. Kaidan’s mouth is on his neck, kissing his way up and down Shepard’s jaw and throat; his body is still damp from the shower, and his hair is impossibly wet and mussed. Shepard hums quietly against Kaidan’s mouth as it reaches his lips again and allows him to push his sweatpants down over his hips, leaving them to fall the rest of the way.

Shepard steps out of them as Kaidan trails hot wet kisses across his chest; he wants to close his eyes, feels that would be the right thing to do, but he cannot bring himself to stop watching Kaidan, almost as if the other biotic would vanish if Shepard did not keep him in sight at all times. Their relationship is still such a revelation.

They are both hard, and have been rubbing against each other, uncoordinated little thrusts, and now Kaidan takes them both in his hand. He walks Shepard back against the closed door and slows down the movement of his hips, rocking languorously into Shepard, whose head lolls back in bliss. He feels tiny licks and bites trail down his exposed neck in time with the movement of Kaidan’s hand.

The steam from Kaidan’s shower seems to slow down time itself in this room. Shepard breathes it in, allowing it to fill his head instead of his constant worries.

Kaidan usually takes the lead when they make love, and Shepard is more than content to follow someone else in this one very private area of his life. So when Kaidan places his hands on Shepard’s hips and guides him away from the door, still pressing kisses into his skin, he follows without thought.

He feels something cold and hard pressed against his abdomen, and opens his eyes to find he has been pushed up against the counter, facing the mirror. It is fogged up, so at first he doesn’t register what he is looking at. He is too focused on the sensations of Kaidan behind him, sliding his cock along Shepard’s ass, running his fingers along the creases of his thighs, getting close to touching his erection but always skimming away at the last second.

Shepard grips the counter, groaning and arching his back, trying for more contact. Kaidan chuckles, a deep chocolatey sound right up against Shepard’s ear that sends an uncontrollable shiver down his spine.

“We’re gonna try something a little different tonight, Shepard.” All the man can do is nod.

Kaidan reaches forward past him and swipes his hand down the mirror, and suddenly Shepard is looking directly into his own eyes. He flinches involuntarily and tries to look away.

Kaidan grasps his chin, forces his head to keep looking forward. He is still rocking himself against Shepard’s ass, and Shepard is still so hard, so wanting.

[credit!](http://novicealtair.deviantart.com/art/Something-Different-357116192)

 

“I want you to listen to me very carefully, _Commander,_ because what I am going to say is very important.” He stares deep into Shepard’s eyes.  “Tonight, I am going to make you watch.”

Shepard tenses. He has never done anything like this, and Kaidan senses his concern. He distracts him, moving his hand from Shepard’s chin to his mouth, and the younger man obediently sucks on his fingers, laving them with his tongue. Kaidan groans quietly.

“You’re so fucking hot, Shepard. Seeing you like this turns me on so fucking much.” He punctuates each of his curses with a squeeze at Shepard’s hip and a growl. His saliva-slicked fingers slide down to Shepard’s ass and begin probing. Shepard spreads his legs a little wider, angling his hips up without thinking to allow Kaidan better access.

“Look at you, you fucking slut. I know how badly you want this.” A finger slides in, finds his prostate unerringly. Shepard moans, but his eyes have closed.

 _“Open your eyes,”_ Kaidan rumbles. “You are going to watch this, you are going to watch as I fuck you until you can’t walk.” Something of the Major seeps into Kaidan’s voice, and the marine in Shepard responds, snapping his eyes open.

A second finger joins the first, and they begin scissoring, opening him up from the inside. He whimpers, and tries not to meet his own eyes, instead watching his partner. Kaidan’s mouth is half-twisted with lust, and his pupils are blown wide. He is staring back at Shepard in the mirror.

“God, Shepard, do you know what you do to me? Can you feel how hard you make me? Fuck, how hard you’ve always made me. I wanted to fuck you into the nearest hard surface from the first minute I saw you back on the SR-1.”

The fingers leave, and the hardness of Kaidan’s cock replaces them, pressing into him. Shepard’s mouth is hanging open now, panting with lust. Kaidan bites his neck, then continues growling into his ear.

“I love your eyes when you get like this. I can tell how much you need me, how much you need a good fucking. I bet you never had this before. No one else would dare to talk to Commander Shepard like this, but I know what you need.”

His cock is fully sheathed inside Shepard now, but he has not started to move yet. Shepard cannot move himself; he is pinned too tightly against the counter. He whines, wordlessly pleading Kaidan to _do something._

“You strut around in your fucking armor” – here Kaidan closes his eyes and shudders, hands on Shepard’s hips gripping tight enough to leave bruises – “Fuck, Shepard, that suit is molded to your body. I can’t take my eyes off your ass.”

He finally starts moving, agonizingly slowly. Shepard’s knuckles are white from holding onto the counter.

“No, don’t close your eyes. You’re watching this, remember. I want you to see exactly how you look when you’re begging to be fucked. Exactly how irresistible you are.” Kaidan braces one hand against the wall, right next to the mirror. Shepard is forced a little closer to it, unable to escape, and he whimpers at how right Kaidan is, how badly he needs this.

“Watch me. Watch how you unmake me.” He is whispering now, low and gravelly, and then he pulls out and slams back into Shepard with no warning. Shepard lets out a moan, and catches sight of Kaidan’s face as he does. Kaidan’s pupils are almost completely dilated, he is gritting his teeth, and at the sound of the moan he begins to flare blue, surrounding them both in a soft biotic corona. Shepard cannot help but respond, his own biotics coming to life.

“ _Fuck,_ Shepard,” Kaidan gasps, and Shepard’s eyes unfocus a bit as Kaidan pounds into him, murmuring the whole time.

“Fucking cocktease… so fucking sexy, with your mouth open like that… Christ, Shepard, love watching you when I’m so deep inside you… love the way your skin flushes… so hot when you bite your lip like that, God yes Shepard, need you…”

Shepard is mostly watching Kaidan, loving that he can see his partner this way, can meet his eyes and watch as his hair falls over his face, making him look hard and soft at the same time, just a little bit dangerous and wild. The coronae haven’t gone away, and have been picked up by the steam of the room, lending an unearthly feeling to their coupling.

When Kaidan cannot form coherent sentences anymore, gasping out single words instead – “Fuck… hot… yes… _Shepard_ ” – Shepard knows he is close. Kaidan’s hand comes around to grab Shepard’s neglected cock, and begins stroking in time with his thrusts. With Kaidan’s raspy voice caressing his ear, his cock buried within him, and his hand wrapped around his erection, Shepard is lost.

He comes hard, and catches sight of himself in the mirror just as he does. In an odd, out-of-body experience, he thinks distantly that if Kaidan can love his looks the same way he did on the SR-1, well, nothing else matters, and Cerberus cannot have done too much harm.

The next instant he is brought back to his body, shaking in the aftershocks of his orgasm. Kaidan follows him in a few thrusts, face contorted with desire, eyes wide, meeting his gaze in the mirror as his nails rake down his side.

His head drops to Shepard’s shoulder when his body stills, holding eye contact, kissing the skin incessantly. He wraps his arms around Shepard, who leans back against him.

As they leave the bathroom to collapse on the bed, Shepard sees the towel he used to hide behind lying in the corner. He does not pick it up again.


End file.
